UUUGGGHHHHH, I’m in such a funk lately.
It has been 2 full weeks since I have run. It’s been 2 full weeks since I’ve done any exercise at all. I don’t have any good excuse either. I’ve just lost my groove. I’ve been feeling really crappy about my progress. I’m slow, I feel like I’m going to die EVERY time I run. I can’t run more than just a few minutes before I have to take a walk break. Everyone I know that started running AFTER I did has totally surpassed me and left me in the dust.
I’m not uber competitive when it comes to running, exercise, or my fitness in general. (I do have a competitive streak in other aspects of my life though.) So I’m never going to be upset that I don’t get a medal at a race. I’m never going to be super fast, I’m never going to put enough time in to train for a full marathon. But man, it’s just getting really tough to be SO much slower than everyone I know. To struggle so much more than it seems anyone else is. I WANT to be a runner, I WANT to enjoy it. But, let’s be honest here, it sucks. It sucks to be so slow that you can’t run with friends during a group run. It sucks that I start breathing heavy and sweating just a few minutes into a VERY slow jog. It SUCKS that I’ve been running for a year on and off and STILL can’t come close to finishing a 5k in under 40 minutes.
Right now, for me, running just sucks. And I’m not sure how to turn it around. (And so help me, if someone replies to this and tells me to “just go out there and do it” I’m going to strangle them with my heart rate monitor. Just kidding, but not really.)
I’ve got my 7 mile race in a little less than 2 months now. The furthest I’ve schlepped my butt in the last several months is only 3 miles. I’ve got freaking work to do. Let’s hope I can find a way to motivate myself…